I've been so off track I just wanna kill myself.
I hate my girlfriend and best friend. I mean I love them but hate them. Both are so fucking thin and perfect (my girlfriend especially) and it makes me want v to jump off the nearest cliff.
Even when I'm thin (becsuse I fucking WILL be) I'll still be ugly
My face is a mess in general.
I will be thin.
I will be before I die.
This morning I was craving pancakes.
I made Blogilates bsnana and two egg recipe but added cinnamon and vanilla.
Estamating to 400 since I had it w/ syrup (syrup is loaded with calories guys)
I purged that but I'm keeping the calories
Just now I ate half a cheese sandwich, bread was 80, cheese about 100, and butter which is another 102 calories
400
102
100
80
Total intake: 682
Damn..
Most calories come from little condiments like syrup, butter, vanilla, etc.
WATCH OUT FOR THOSE THINGS GUYS!
They add calories so sneakily. If anything eat your food plain so you KNOW what's in them.
Stay♡Strong
Fucking ate an entire footlong sub earlier today. Did not purge.
Fuck my life.
"I'll lose weight in no time" I said
"LosIng weight'll be eaaaasyyy I just won't eat!" I tHouGht
"Fasting isn't hard at all pffff" I rEpeaTed!!!
My girlfriend is sooo skinny. She's dating a fat blob does she even reAlize omg
I feel bad for her I feel like I should break up with hrr until I'm a size 2 like she deserves better.
My weigh in today was 281.8
2 lbs down... prolly just water weight.
Ugh.
I wanna get into the 100's before January and I KNOW it's possible... if I could just stop eating.
If I'm still this size by October I'm killing myself.
Damn it.
I ended up eating cheeze-its (127 cals)
And a PBJ (510 cals)
2 bottles of water using flavor powder (10 calories)
Total intake: 647 calories
Then I purged.
I'm so pissed off I wanted to fast.
I can't fast anymore.
When I was younger, I was able to fast for a whole week.
Now I can't get through one day.
I'm pathetic but as long as I don't consume any more calories, I'll be okay.
Stay♡Strong
Hello everybody!
Let me first start off by apologizing for any typos ahead of time. I am currently using my phone as my computer is the most useless piece of shit ever.
Secondly, let me introduce myself!
I am Kristy, currently a 19 year old moocher who is willing to do ANYTHING to lose weight.
All my life, I have been fat.
I don't even know what it's like to be a normal weight.
Ever since I was a little kid, doctors have told me to lose.
I never did.
I gained and gained and at this point I am 283.6 lbs.
That's right folks.
I'm close to 300 fucking pounds.
If I don't change now... my God I have no clue!
I refuse to gain any more.
My ultimate goal weight is to get down to 115 lbs by the end of next year.
Can I do it?
Not sure!
See, I've always wanted to know if an obese person could ever get down to a very thin weight.
We always see people going from, say, 300 to 140 and are stuck there.
What if I wanted to end up much less than that?
What if I wanted to be a size 2-3 and not a 10?
Why should fat people accept staying at a middle/average weight?
I want to be THIN.
I want to know that feeling.
And I'm ready to aim for it.
For the last few days, I have been binging and sometimes purging.
Now I am ready to fast.
I plan on fasting for a month, perhaps have a couple small meals in-between if I, you know, feel like I may die!
First goal weight is by January 1st and I wish to weight 200lbs or less!
Think I can lose that much in only 4 months?
I certainly do!
I have so much will power right now at 7:07 am.
I hope it lasts.
Wish me luck, if anyone reads this!
Will update everyday.
Stay♡strong, we WILL make our goals! xoxo
